missing my camera!

Jon took my camera to a Jimmy Eat World concert during the week and left it in his brother's truck!  So, I have been stuck helpless as I watch my lil' ones be darling as ever with no way to capture it!!!!

UG!!! For Christmas/Birthday I am demanding my OWN camera!!!! :)

I have been doing a lot of thinking these last couple of weeks... I know...it's a dangerous thing for me to be doing. I shouldn't work my brain so hard :) 

Abigail's big appointment is just around the corner.  They're going to be poking and prodding her, drawing several vials of blood and strapping her arms, legs, waist and head down to a table. 

I keep telling myself that she has to have this done so we can help her but it doesn't make the feeling of helplessness go away.  Her MRI last year was very hard.  Because I was pregnant I could not  go into the room and Jon stayed with me. It was probably one of the longest hours I have had to endure. 

There is a slue of disabilities she may have, some bad some not so bad. But all time consuming on us and rough on her. Some people understand her disability to an extent and know she will struggle. Others are often too optimistic and seem blinded to her small stature and never ending struggle to get her to eat and sleep.  

The reason Abby has a hard time turning food into power is because her Pituitary Gland is missing. This gland is what is responsible for distributing growth hormones the body needs to develop and the brain needs to function. Abigail's motor skills are quite normal actually.  Her walking and crawling are stunted by lack of confidence due to no sight.  But the frontal lobe of the brain, the part that is separated and affected by Septo Optic Dysplasia (SOD) will affect her ability to learn and grow academically. 

At this appointment the Endocrinologist will be able to determine what type of growth hormone Abby will need and will hopefully help us to know what kind of diet she'll eat. 

The more mothers I talk to who have children with Abby's condition tell me how happy their children are, but also inform me on how hard it is to raise them.  They say they cannot fathom having more children because of how busy they are. The mothers that have older children and their youngest affected say it's not so hard. But the moms whose first baby was born with SOD/ONH and have had other babies tell me it's difficult. Because your oldest child, the one who's suppose to be the most independent, is completely dependent on you, and the younger ones are completely dependent as well. Having only two children I have not seen the blunt of this. 

But as I think of my family and think about having children in the future I wonder if I am trying to take on too much. Jon and I want to do foster care and adopt children, but I would like to have one more baby who is close in age to Bronco and Abigail. The feeling that we have one more family member waiting is pressing on my mind.  I keep having dreams and feelings and emotions that soon we'll be a family of five.  I don't know how this will happen since Jon and I are taking desperate measures to make sure this doesn't happen.  With him not done with school, and us barely scraping by it doesn't make sense to be having another baby. But why is my heart fighting my logic so intensely. I'm for sure not in shape for another pregnancy.

I guess we'll have to see what happens. :)  All I know is that we have a dream of adopting and doing foster care. A dream where we can change lives like mine was changed seven years ago, by the love and compassion of two people who are now my parents. 

We ask that everyone pray for Abby this month.  We need everything to go as well as possible May 25th! :) Thanks for stoppin' by and reading my gibber jabber! Love you all!

xoxoxo (MUAH!)

Feelin' Good Today!

I have been so tired lately.  Being a mother and a wife is more than a full time job, it is lifetime of round the clock, eternal dedication and love.  Everyday Jonathan and I watch Abigail struggle but we also watch her triumph. We have the joy of seeing our children play together and Bronco keep careful vigil over Abby.

Jon works incredibly hard at Jobs he doesn't always enjoy.  He goes to work smiling and comes home positive and upbeat. I am more than excited for Father's day to get here so I can honor him!

I have my good days and bad days. I have bad days where the babies won't nap, the housework doesn't get done, and Mr Lee comes home to a wife in tears, hair frazzled and ready to be tucked in for a long nap. On my good days my darlings nap, play well, laundry gets done, and Jon comes home to a wife happy with her hair pulled nicely back and a smile irresistible to kisses.

I learn so much on both the good and bad days.  I have learned that it takes a special spirit, a special touch and a special voice to do the job we women are heavenly charged with.  I try my best to be the mother I always wanted. To be the wife my mother, Shari is to my father.  I don't have to be a superstar to be a supermom, I just have to be me. And by being myself, I will be teaching my children to be true to themselves.   I am the best I can be, because I am me. :)

Just Another Manic Monday! :)

My day started at 4:30 am this morning! My lil' Abby was up and ready to giggle and play! She is down for her morning nap now and so is my little stud Bronco! I have had a wonderful breakfast, I was able to make Mr Lee's lunch, kiss him at the door and enjoy a few minutes of quiet time before my babies woke up.

Abby is learning to walk, but she prefers to walk BACKWARDS! It is the cutest thing! Bronco watches EVERYTHING she does and tries to do it... I hope he learns mine and Jon's walking skills though.

Bronco tries so hard to crawl, but he is so chunky he can't move, so he just flails his arms and legs... it's absolutely darling!

Mr Lee is working so hard to take care of us and is loving his new job! Our prayer is that he does so well, that he moves up fast and can get his education through them and get going on his dream job!

I am a busy bee writing children's books! I am going to be signing on with a publisher in the future... but I am keeping secret what publisher is publishing my work! The books I am getting published are a series of books: Ryker and Daddy's Saturday Adventures and Abby and Jett: Detective Duo.

Ryker and Daddy's Saturday Adventures are about a little boy and his father. The books center around the influence a father has on his children and the importance his role plays in his child's life.
They are a humor series that teaches morals and values through the wisdom of fathers. I got this idea from watching my brother Karlin over the years. His children look up to him and admire him.  And through his sense of humor and love for all things adventure he teaches his children to live, love and learn.

Abby and Jett: Detective Duo is about two friends who use their talents to solve mysteries. Abby is blind and uses her super sonic senses to feel, hear and smell evidence and Jett (not blind) puts the evidence together and uses his eyes and camera to take pictures of the evidence. At the end they take all the sensory evidence and use Abby's senses and Jett's photography skills to solve the mystery. An example of a mystery they would try to solve would be silly things like finding missing shoes, mismatched socks and decoding surprises from their mom's and dad's. The character's in this book are based off of my daughter and her mad skills to find anything and everything using everything BUT her eyes, and my nephew Jett who's mother is an amazing photographer . I know her husband (my brother) is going to pass down his fun and playful spirit to Jett. Which makes him perfect for my book!

By Christmas or January these books should be in production! :) So cross your fingers I can keep writing like mad!

Well, that is all the updates I have for now! I have a baby waking from his nap!

(K) MUAH! xoxoxo

Oh My Stinkin' Goodness!

So tonight we had my bestie and her hubby over for a game night. It was going fantanstic! Bronco played with Shelby the entire time and loves her to death! Well, let me tell ya what! That kid is a lil' traitor! I went to take him from Shelby to get him ready for bed and he screamed! He looked at me like I was a stranger and cried and cried! The instant I gave him back to her he stopped crying, I took him again and he flipped out and cried more! He'd only let me hold him and dress him if he could see her.  As she left he'd look at her and then at me and grunt wanting to go home with Shelby and David.  *sigh* I thought I was loved! 

Aside from that tragic moment, the night went well, lots of laughs were shared and it was good wholesome fun! Abby was excited people were over and showed off like mad! She was singing, dancing, talking about "Dada" and barking. She pulled all of her tricks out and they went over quite well! 

Jon had some "man cave" time with David and played video games while Shelby and I chatted about her new life as a wife.  I keep thinking how weird it is that my best friend is married! I know now how she felt and what she thought after I had been married. 

I found an old roll of film and after developing it laughed at all the silly pictures from high school. Shelby and I were very different back then. Our life goals, ambitions and dreams have changed and now we are starting new adventures and creating new dreams.  It is a fun journey going down memory lane, but I am glad I have my two children and Mr Lee.  The present and future are what I think about now and I know that the both have great things in store! :)  Tomorrow night we are having my in-laws over! I know it'll be just as fun having them too! 

Anywhodado! I should go and finish getting Abby to sleep. She is quite the procrastinator! 

A lil' bit' o' lovin'!

This morning Abby woke up saying Mama! I went into her room and picked her up. She wrapped her arms around my neck and cuddled up close.  She chit-chatted for about ten minutes and then pushed herself off saying Dada. I can't get her to say my name again (she's so selective when she says it) but it was really exciting for her to wake up asking for me :) I love my babies and how much they love me!

:)

Good Morning Wednesday!

I am excited about today for a few reasons :)
Reason one - It's the middle of  the week which means two more days until the weekend!
Reason two - I have a big surprise for Mr Lee!
Reason three - AMERICAN IDOL! I love AI and it never gets old for me! Watching people's dreams come true is so fun and inspiring!

As I am trying to type this I have Bronco sitting next me and trying to hold me hand. That's his new move. :) He reaches out for my hand and then sits there holding it while he talks to me. So sweet <3

Abby has learned how to shake hands. She is so darling! She reaches out and shakes our hands. We say "Well, hello! Nice to meet you again Abby!". I love my children oh so much!

I should get going Bronco is trying so hard to hold my hand and they are both typing... needless to say he's not a happy camper! I'll write more when Hubby gets home!

Ciao! (K) MUAH!