The Tale of Two Births
I cannot even begin to tell you how I feel at this very moment. I am at such a happy place in my life that I can hardly find the words to describe my feelings. Two days ago, Saturday October 23rd, at 5:52 am my baby boy, Bronco Allan-Bryant Lee, was born. After almost nine months of waiting he came to this Earth to be with his father and sister, Abigail Cindy Lee.
Abby was born November 29th, 2009 at 4:44 am. I remember feeling so anxious for her arrival. I had been married to Jonathan for two and a half months before I became pregnant with Abby. We were both overjoyed to start our family, even though it happened so soon. Were we scared? Most definitely. We were still newlyweds, getting to know one another and trying to find our place in the world. Needless to say we were not prepared for the change about to take place in our lives.
When we first got married and moved into our little one bedroom apartment we were a fairy tale couple. Jon went to work and came home to his house clean, a hot dinner on the table and I dressed up with my hair and makeup meticulously done. I was his June Cleaver and he was my Prince Charming. So our lives went for a couple months until a little pink plus sign changed everything.
As soon as we found out I was expecting our first baby the “morning” sickness kicked in. It lasted all morning, day and well into the evening, often times waking me up. Jon came home from work and was shocked to see the dishes from breakfast and lunch still in the sink, the laundry still in the hamper and the bed unmade. His biggest shock was his June Cleaver, still in her jammies, hair array, no makeup on, and hunched over the toilet vomiting and crying. LeAndra had been taken over by an emotional, exhausted, over sensitive, puking beast of hormones. And Jonathan, bless his heart, remained my Prince Charming.
Whenever I had to make a trip to empty my stomach he was right there holding my hair and rubbing my back. If I woke up at 2 A.M. and craved brownies he’d get up and bake a batch for me. After a long day at work Jon would come home, do the dishes clean the house and then give me a long foot rub. And when I was too tired to watch a movie with him, instead of me going to bed and him staying up, Jon would run me a bath and then we’d both go to bed and talk until we fell asleep. He was exactly what the doctor ordered!
Thus was our life up until the dad Abigail was born. My water broke the Saturday after Thanksgiving at Jonathan’s aunt’s home. His mother picked me up and took me to the hospital where they kept me, waiting for contractions to begin. When they would not my nurse started me on pit until I was overcome with violent contractions. Each contraction measured from 10-12 with only 5 seconds in between each. Jonathan arrived four hours after I had been admitted and I was in tears of pain and confusion. He gripped my hand and stroked my hair but nothing seemed to calm me. I called for an epidural.
The epidural was a painful experience. My contractions were so close together that they had to insert the line while I was contracting. After the epidural the pain only subsided for thirty minutes or so. And then I had all feeling again. Something had gone wrong. Abby wasn’t descending the pelvis and so she had to be suctioned out by a vacuum. Enormous amounts of pain were radiating throughout my entire body. Doctor Shappard kept asking the nurse why I was feeling so much pain. He was just as confused as I was. The nurse checked the drip line for the epidural and it was completely empty. My back was sucking in air. A nurse hurried and added more.
I looked around and saw several nurses at my bedside watching Abby’s heart rate drop with every push. I suddenly felt the walls closing in around me and was close to giving up. Doctor Shappard informed me that I was having a bowel movement and that was all I needed to give the final push that would bring Abigail in the world. I knew if I was having a bowel movement that I was pushing right and one more push like that would do the trick. I tore and had to have stitches and could not eat or sleep at the hospital. I still felt closed in and uncomfortable. My baby girl was finally with me and all I wanted to do was go home with my family.
At home I spent the first two weeks sleeping on the couch and Jon on the floor. My back was so messed up from the epidural I had to sleep sitting up. I lay on the couch night after night crying and swearing to Jonathan we were not having another child… ever. Well, two months after Abigail’s birth I was pregnant yet again.
When I realized my period was three weeks late we bought four pregnancy tests and each one came out positive. I cried and cried for two weeks before we saw the doctor. How could this happen to me? I was furious. I was not ready for another baby. I prayed every night to understand what Heavenly Father was thinking. I became depressed and felt more alone than I had ever felt. Why? That was the big question I kept asking myself. How was I going to accomplish this great task?
Well, all my concerns and frustrations soon would leave me. After Abby turned four months old we discovered that she was blind, 100% in darkness. I quickly realized why Heavenly Father had sent the sweet spirit growing inside my womb. Bronco would be Abigail’s best friend and protector. Instantly I felt humbled and repented for my anger towards God. He always has a plan and like my mother-in-law is constantly telling me; hindsight is 20/20.
The pregnancy went smooth. I wasn’t nauseas nearly as bad as I was my first pregnancy. My energy level was way down and each day I felt unprepared to be a mother of two. My third trimester rounded the corner and all the horrible memories of my first delivery came rushing back. I was scared of a repeat. Plus with having two children I could not afford a lengthy recovery. Depression came next and I earnestly prayed to my Father in Heaven every second of every day. I prayed that I would have the strength to do this and that I would be blessed with the knowledge to know what to do and have a speedy recovery.
Friday, October 15th at 5:00 P.M contractions started and I had a huge hormonal surge. I was 36 weeks and five days pregnant. Not quite full term. I was doing fine on my own until the contractions suddenly became stronger and closer together. I called my doctor and my doula. Both were preparing for me to have Bronco that night. I called Jonathan and he quickly came home. After he’d been home about two hours the contractions just stopped. We were both frustrated because Jon could not afford to lose work for unnecessary reasons and my false labor became one. This routine continued all weekend and all week. Thursday night, October 21st contractions came on strong (now a routine). I ignored them for awhile until they caused me to vomit.
Jonathan was getting of work early that night because his company was installing a new computer system. We both thought this was the real deal. However, we were let down once again. I cried hard that night and told Jon I didn’t know how much more of this I could take. We both were feeling the pressure and once again I pleaded, in tears, to Heavenly Father to give me strength.
I woke, Friday morning, bright eyed and bushy tailed. I was having very soft and subtle contractions that I thought were Braxton hicks. We left the house at 9:00 am to go walk to Boise mall. We walked it until 1:30 and by then I noticed my contractions had gotten stronger and were lasting longer. We got home and they had stopped once again. Jonathan was stressed because he could not miss any work this next week and on. An overwhelming sense of peace came over me and I assured my dear husband everything would be well. I retired to our bedroom for a nap and had slept for a good four hours. When I woke it was 8:30 pm and we plopped in a movie. Afterwards we put Abigail to bed. And at 11:30 pm, when Jon came from rocking Abby I was fast asleep on the couch.
I
was awakened by sharp pains radiating my entire body. It was 1:30 am and I told Jon I needed to get in a hot bath. Jon ran my bath and I immersed myself allowing the water to sooth the painful and long contractions. This went on until 2:30 am. I called my doctor but Jonathan had to speak for me because my contractions were so strong and coming one right after the other. After describing all the details (which I will spare you), Doctor Shappard assured us that this was the real thing. We called Jonathan’s mother and informed her we were on our way to bring Abby and by morning she would have a new grandson. I called my mother to let her know I was going to the delivery room.
Of all nights, this was the night the freeway was closed from our exit all the way to Jon’s mother’s exit. So we had to take lengthy detour with lots of stops and slow go(s). I was amazed at how well I was handling the pain (at this time it took all I had not to push). It felt as if someone was starting to take over the job for me. We finally arrived at his mother’s and Jon rushed Abby in and we sped off to the hospital.
When we arrived at it was 4:00 am. Right away I noticed the delivery room was large and very comforting. My last room was small and crowded. I changed into the gown and paced the floor through my contractions. At this point they were three minutes apart lasting a minute each. I still felt an overwhelming feeling of peace and control. There was someone guiding me through this since I woke at 1:30 with pain shaking my body. And as time got closer that person became stronger and I was able to relax.
My plan was to go natural, my last epidural did not work out and I had suffered immense amount of unnecessary pain. However, at 4:30 when Nurse Meaghan asked me if I wanted one, I felt the spirit very strongly tell me to get an epidural. I looked at Jonathan and he was just as surprised as I was when I told the nurse yes. The anesthesiologist came in and explained everything to me. He was very soft spoken and warm. Even as he described to me all the horrible things that could go wrong, I felt as if I were floating on a cloud of peace. Finally at 5:00 am my blood work came back and I was all clear for the epidural.
He was very patient and waited between my contractions. I prayed to Heavenly Father to let them stop long enough for the epidural to be placed. And instantly my contractions stopped. The anesthesiologist was able to insert the epidural and give me the first dosage. He told me that it would only last about an hour and a half. And if the labor should go longer he’d give me more.
I laid back down and when it all had taken affect and my doctor came in I was fully dilated and he wanted to do a couple practice pushes. As I started my first push a power came over me that can only be described as divine. My heart knew exactly what to do and the spirit took over. At this time it was 5:30 am. I pushed through two contractions and my doctor looked up and said I was ready for the real thing.
It was 5:45 am and I had a lip in my cervix. He let me go through two more contractions so it would open up. Then we started to push. I pushed once and Doctor Shappard saw hair, I pushed a second time and he saw Bronco’s little head. I pushed a third time and my baby boy was here. I pushed for 15 minutes and my boy was born. I felt no pain throughout the whole thing.
We were taken to our recovery room two hours later and I still felt wonderful, physically and spiritually. I had absolutely no tearing and was able to walk with no problem. We slept well the first night and on Sunday the nurse came in and when I saw here I got right up out of bed, walked to the bathroom came back and talked to her as she checked my vitals. She joked and casually asked if I really had just had a baby. I told her yes but I didn’t have to do very much work.
We came home Monday, October 25th and I was full of life and energy. I made lunch, cleaned our bathroom and visited with my mother-in-law. She watched the babies while I took a quick nap. After she left I did some more straightening up and then played with my two children. I thanked Heavenly Father for answering my prayer and in the way that He did.
Bronco Allan-Bryant Lee was born October 23rd, 5:52 am 2010. He weighed 7lbs 6oz, measured 20 inches long and his APGAR scores were 9/9, the highest possible. He was perfect all around. Heavenly Father did indeed answer my prayers. I never imagined that he would completely take away the pain and make me stronger after birth. The atonement is such a powerful and wonderful gift. Christ truly understands what each of us is going through and clearly, when we do our part he’ll lift us up and carry us through our toughest times. I know my Father loves me and this weekend He manifested it plainly to me. And now, as I finish this entry, and look at my beautiful children and endearing husband I see again another testament of his love.
